fairevil               

忍

the pain of the misunderstood is hard to bear.

fear of the unknown makes the unknown unapproachable and hence the unknown remains fearsome.

embrace the fear such that the unknown becomes known and there shall no longer be any fear.

i need to stop thinking that what i would do for my grandchildren equates to what my parents would do for their grandchildren.

it just doesn't work that way.
regardless of what they say.

5.39am on the first day of 2013 and i'm weirdly fully awake after giving the small one her night feed.
savouring the first few moments of 2013 in "peace" while looking back.

2012
the year of anticipation and arrival for rx2.
year i became a father of 2 with double the amount of duties and responsibilities.
pretty pleased with how the wife and i are managing.
dear if you are reading this please know i'm always proud of you :)
new year resolution for 2012 is a success. a year without cigs. i always knew it was mind over body.
company's getting some traction. hopefully we can continue to grow!

2013
rx1's first year of school in nursery... parenthood is going to start to get more complicated.
not a day goes by when i don't think of how to handle their adolescent years.
哎... 走到桥头自然直。i still have about 9 more years to think. rx1's mind works like mine.
i just have to figure out how to unlock myself.
actually i think the wife can handle her, since she can handle me.

hope for the hdb saga to end soon. taking so long zzzzz! where's my flat?!

all said, cheers to a new year ahead!

leaving a reminder for myself:
quote that hit me the most past year: only when we learn how to die then do we learn how to live.

happiness is knowing what i'm working for.
happiness is achieving satisfaction at work.
happiness is coming home to a family waiting for your return.
happiness is coming home to a meal lovingly cooked by your wife.
happiness is spending time with people who want your attention.
happiness is spending time with people whom you love.

i'm super happy.

that might as well be a blessing in disguise.

i'm appalled at the way you handled the situation.

it was your last chance of proving yourself to me that you can be trusted on a professional level, not to even mention on a personal level.

but i probably shouldn't even have given you that little chance, because deep down inside, i knew it was going to be the same outcome anyways.

and we parted with you owing me something.
something that you haven't yet learnt to give, probably because you take us for granted so much.
something that you should have given without any prompting.
something that any other normal decent human being would do.

you mentioned something about learning how to communicate properly.
it starts from this thing that i mentioned.
this thing that you owe me, your brother tim, his wife, and my wife.
and until you do this thing, i will cease to communicate with you.

because its time you learnt by yourself, and not be taught by others.

this week marks the beginning of a new era.

you don't know what lies ahead until you take the step forward.
and step forward, i shall.